A Long Way From Home...

I'm posting this here because I need to vent and its the one place my RL friends won't see it.

I have a great group of friends. There are four of us that spend time together. We all have kids. Our kids all hang out. Our husbands are even friends. We shop together, we do day trips together, we pretty much do everything as one big (10 kids, 6 adults) group. But lately, I feel like I'm becoming more and more of an outsider. Like today, friend A. posts something on FB about the plan for tonight. Anyone that knows me, knows that I've got a rotten memory, so I figured I'd forgotten something and asked what was up. No answer for like 3 hours. Finally, another friend, lets call her friend B., calls and says "Oh yeah, we're getting together at friend C's house. You can come if you want." Totally felt like a pity invite. Now I don't know whether to go or not. Because I can't tell if it was a pity invite and they don't really want me there, or if I'm just being paranoid.... I'd ask for opinions but no one actually reads this journal. *sighs*

So I recently watched both seasons of Chuck. Its not a show I ever remember hearing about but I stumbled across it on tv one night and fell in love.  When I find a show I like, I hunt down as much of the fanfiction as I can; which I'm sure I'm not the only one to do.

Anyway, I went looking for fanfics, found a few that were really good and then I stumbled across one that made my brain melt.  It was an AU but here beginneth the rant.

The author didn't like the character Casey, so he had Chuck kill him off. Sarah was pretty annoying and so the author sent her packing for most of the story as well. Ellie was a drunk (yes I realize that she's usually got a glass of wine in her hand on the show but this was taking that to the extreme) who broke up with Awesome and then moved across the country, effectively writing her and Devon out of the story. Chuck quit the Buy More and had no contact with Morgan, Anna, Jeff, Lester, or Big Mike. In fact, he spent most of the story with Carina. Chuck himself was not the loveable nerd boy that he is on the show but was instead some sort of avenge angel stereo type with rage issues. Sarah reappeared later in the story but as a much more broken, cry baby version of herself, who needed saving. It honestly felt as though the author neither liked nor wanted her in the story but had only given in to keep the Chara fans off his/her back. In several of the author notes, the author mentioned that he didn't like Morgan, Casey, Ellie or Sarah. I found myself wanted to throw something heavy at the author while demanding to know at the top of my lungs, why the hell they bothered to watch the show, let alone write fics for it, if that was the case.

This in my opinion is not AU. AU is taking a show and saying what if.... What if we change this one detail, how would that change everything else. The point of AU in my opinion is to change things but keep them recognizable. The first type of fanfiction that I started reading was Veronica Mars. Perfect example for that show, if Lily hadn't been murdered, how would Veronica have become the tough, snarky, detective she was on the show? This story though, was more like, "I think I'll take the names of the characters, but completely change their personalities, the world they live in, in fact, lets change pretty much everything, so I can hook Chuck up with a character that only appeared in one episode cuz she was hot."

I'm now afraid to read anything with AU in the title. Really really.

So a rl friend of mine has a bunch of stories up on ff.net. She's a great writer, at least I think so, so I can understand being impatient for an update. But today she got this review on a one shot that she did. "great, but where is the update? ;))"

Seriously? Says complete, right there for anyone to see. And that was just fricking rude.

So I was alphabetizing my CD's today because I opened the case for the CD I wanted to listen too and it was empty. Which means that my husband has been "borrowing" stuff again (ie taking it to work and then forgetting it there). While organizing I found a CD I haven't listened to in years and so I put it on. Now I've got the song stuck in my head and find myself wish I knew how to make videos because...perfect freaking lyrics for a Dean/Castiel story. Seriously. Check it out.


"Everything You Want" By Vertical Horizon

Somewhere there's speaking
It's already coming in
Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind
You never could get it
Unless you were fed it
Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks
Past the places where you used to learn
You howl and listen
Listen and wait for the
Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
He's everything you want
He's everything you need
He's everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
He says all the right things
At exactly the right time
But he means nothing to you
And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone
To put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away
There's always another wound to discover
There's always something more you wish he'd say

[Chorus]

But you'll just sit tight
And watch it unwind
It's only what you're asking for
And you'll be just fine
With all of your time
It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island
Into the highway
Past the places where you might have turned
You never did notice
But you still hide away
The anger of angels who won't return

[Chorus]
I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know




Am I right?

Running, just because it's fun to see how fast I can go, because when I get up enough speed I feel like I am flying.